OK so now what am I going to talk about tonight, I hope in the next 30 days that you will be able to get to know the real me and I guess I am hoping to get to know the real me too.
Something that has been bothering me for awhile is that I feel like I am a real fence sitter. I really don't like conflict and will go above and beyond not to upset anyone else even if it doesn't suit me. I generally keep my opinions to myself. I have spent a lifetime of protecting everyone's feelings around me and believe me it has been hard work and has taken a toll. I can now see that I have been protecting others feelings at the expense of my own. I am finally finding my voice after 42 years.
Back to fence sitting I have been pondering on this all day and have been wondering if I should get more passionate with my opinions but I have come to the realization that I am OK with being a fence sitter! I can see now that there is a difference to not getting upset or worked up over certain things and not standing up for myself. They are two different things. I really do feel I am a lot more tolerant of things around me and happy to go with the thinking each to their own. I don't need to have an opinion on everything for or against.
I have really been working on finding my happy place of what TRULY makes me happy. You know that is the hardest thing to work out when you really stop and think about it!
I think it is different to "what would it TAKE to make you happy" (to me that is the materialistic thinking of it). When you really get to the core of your being to really think about "what makes you truly happy" and how you are going to go about achieving that, its not so easy. I have been doing a lot of soul searching on that one. Finding my voice has given me so much and a simple little thing called the truth can totally free you. It is a happy place that no one can take away from you. I am still working on finding my Truth of what it is that I truly want in this life and what makes my my heart really soar. Of course my family is way up there on top and I couldn't be happier with mine but unless you can find your passion and what makes your heart sing and live in your true happiness nothing else really matters. Everything else is just a lie and is just living in a level of existence.
I have been there for far too long. Living to make other people happy like my own wasn't as important as everyone else. Take it from me start thinking about your own happiness, your core happiness. No one else is going to do it for you, and only you have the power to do anything about it.
There is no magic formula and the timing will be different for everyone. But start making a conscious effort today to think about what will make you truly happy. Because we all deserve it!
Ok I feel like I have made no sense tonight and this is just a bunch of rambling, but this is me, I don't make sense a lot of the time and I am Ok with that now. This is me, it is hard for me to put unedited photos on my blog and to put something up that I haven't read back over a hundred times to make sure it is all perfect. I am letting go of perfect, who needs that pressure!!
Thank you again if you are back for day 2, your comments really do warm my heart and really helps me feel not so alone in my journey!!
