Monday, December 9, 2013

Fear has a lot to answer too!

I know I said I would be back with an update of the past few months adventures, but it has just been one big roller coaster lately. My doubts and fears have been working on holding me back, as soon as I feel like I am making some progress it feels like this hand reaches back up and tries to bring me back down! I just don't get it how we can let our heads have this much control of us! 



I have had enough and just want to smack this bitch down, I am sick of being on this roller coaster and sick of feeling sick, that I am not good enough or not smart enough or not funny enough or what ever else the voice in my head likes to inflict on me! I am tired of letting little things or comments derail me so easily.

I have been working sooooo hard on staying positive and looking to the future and working on me, but this consistent, persistent voice always comes back to bring me crashing back down!

I AM ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!! I have to believe that or else what is the point of anything!! Why am I doing what I am doing?? Questions and arguments that go on in my head constantly. I have so much going on and so much I want to do and so much I want to share and give to others but fear of rejection is making me selfish, I am holding back soo  much that could be benefiting others all for the fear that it is not going to be good enough or I might be laughed at or ridiculed or even be wrong. Another big thing I fear is letting people down and disappointing people! I know they are just my insecurities, but how the hell do I get control over them and tell them to fuck off once and for all!!!

I know I will never get off this roller coaster called life, but to just be able to feel like I am doing the right thing and that I am on the right path will make things seem so much easier without this persistent pest in my head!!! 

If anyone has any tips on how to let go of not feeling good enough I would love to hear them!
Sorry about the rant, this is just where my head is at today!

I will be back very soon with my first video blog post, if I can get past the insecurities of how I will look and sound on camera.. But I will do it, I am just working up the courage at the moment!


Monday, November 25, 2013

Sooooo Much News To Tell You............

I have had a crazy few months, and have lots to tell you. It literally has been a whirlwind.
Stay tuned for a mammoth post on my last few months, Well Maybe I will break it up into a few smaller posts this coming week! :)

All I can say Now is that it is all happening!!!!!!!!!!  LOL

I feel like I have grown into a whole new person this year, I am definitely getting a lot more comfortable in my own skin and have had a massive growth journey this year!!

Its All Good!!

I will be back with lots of pics to share and stories of my travels and soul journey as soon as I get a spare min over the coming weeks!

Have a great week everyone!!!!

Much Love
Me xxx

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

ScrapMedia Workshop - 16th & 17th of November 2013 BOOKINGS OPEN NOW!!!

The next ScrapMedia Workshop is on the
16th & 17th of November 2013

BOOKINGS OPEN NOW!!!
Get in quick so you don't miss out!!!!



Venue: Mackay Art Societies, Snow Wright Court, Beaconsfield 4740


View Larger Map


 Included in this Weekend Workshop will be:
  • 2x ScrapMedia Workshop Classes with all kits supplied
    Saturdays Class - Perpetual Birthday Calendar - Tutor Michelle Grant
    Sunday's Class - Creative Backgrounds with stencils and more - Tutor Michelle Grant
  • 1x Challenge Pack Competition with the opportunity to win a great prize
  • All meals Included - Morning, Afternoon Tea and Lunch for both Saturday and Sunday
    as well as Dinner and Supper for Saturday Night
  • Demonstration Saturday Night & Crop till Late
    (Bring your laptop and camera if you would like to learn how to take photos of your projects, edit and upload to your computer and facebook)
  • Prizes to be Won!!
  • Both shops will be open to the public from 2pm to 4pm on Saturday
and more!


This is going to be a fun filled weekend full of creative inspiration
  _______________________________________________

 If you require accommodation for the workshop a couple of options that are reasonable
and around the same suburb are:


Andergrove Van Park - 1800 424 922
2 bedroom cabins (external bathroom) and Villas (internal Bathroom)
$95 per night for 2 people, $8 per extra adult

(This is the closest to the venue)

Motel Northview - 07 4942 1077
$118 per night, or $98 for 2 nights for 2 people
_______________________________________________

BOOKINGS OPEN NOW

Places are limited and will be first in bases.
Book your spot today so you don 't miss out!

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Option A (Early Bird Special)
 
Full Weekend Workshop ~ Early Bird Special

$264.00 only $240.00 if paid by the 25th of October 2013

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Option B (Full Payment)
 
Full Weekend Workshop ~ Full Payment

$264.00 if paid AFTER the 25th of October 2013
Full Payment Due by the 11th of November 2013


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Option C (Payment Plan)
Full Weekend Workshop ~ Payment Plan
2 x Installments of $132.00
Due by the 11th of November 2013


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Option D (Saturday Only)
Weekend Workshop ~ Saturday Only
$164.00 - Saturday 9am to Late
D
ue by the
11th of November 2013

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  Option E (Sunday Only)
Weekend Workshop ~ Sunday Only
$100.00
- Sunday 10am to 5pm

D
ue by the
11th of November 2013

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Email your registration details to confirm your booking:

Please email the following information to:michelle@studiomdesigns.com.au

Name:
Address:
Contact Phone #:
Email:
DOB:
Payment Method:
Payment Date:
Special Dietary Requirements:


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 ***Also available at the Weekend Workshop***

for your shopping pleasure!!!

***Barbie's Scrapbooking Magic***

 

Barbie will have her shop set up at the weekend workshop too.
I am sure you will be able to find something you are looking for between us.
It will be a great opportunity to stock up on adhesives and browse all the new yummy goodies we will have available for you.
Both shops will be open to the public from 2pm to 4pm on Saturday
If you can't make the weekend workshop, we would love for you to drop in and say Hi!

***Pre Orders & Special Requests***

If you are chasing anything in particular just let Barbie or myself know and we can try and have it at the workshop for you. Get in early if you need something tracked down as delivery still takes time to get here.



I will be taking pre-orders for Dusty Attic! If there is anything you would like ordered pop on over to the Dusty Attic Website to see what is available and I can order them in for you to bring to the workshop. Pre-orders for Dusty will close 1st of November.

Email your requests to either
myself at michelle@studiomdesigns.com.au
or Barbie at barbiesscrapmagic@bigpond.com

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To keep up with all the latest news and announcements make sure you sign up for the newsletter below to be the first to hear all the latest news!



If you have any questions about this fabulous weekend
Phone:
Michelle on 0428857022  or
Email: michelle@michellegrantdesigns.com
Looking Forward to seeing you there xx

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Septembers ScrapMedia Workshop ~ ONLY ONE SPOT LEFT

 We only have one spot left, if you are interested in coming make sure you get in quick!

Here is a Sneak Peek at the Fabulous Foils class on the Sunday at the next ScrapMedia Workshop on the 7th & 8th of September!


You won't want to miss Mistra's class on Saturday doing a Mixed Media Reverse Canvas!!
This is going to be another fun filled weekend of creative fun and inspiration!!!
Can't wait!
Information and Booking Page HERE


Monday, August 19, 2013

Earth Flowers ~ Canvas Fun

Hi All, I hope that you all had a fabulous weekend, I took a bit of time out to do a bit of painting on the weekend and getting messy. And even surprising myself I ended up with this, I have never painted anything like this before, really happy with the results!!

 
It is hard to believe this is where this canvas started, it started out as a demo at my first workshop. I was challenged to do something with purples and to not use aqua or green! OOOPS FAIL!!
Sorry girls, I couldn't help myself. I really wasn't liking what was happening. After hanging it behind the door for the past few months I don't know what possessed me to pick this one up the other night and start playing with it again. I just threw all confines out the window and just let myself see what could happen with no plan. It was quiet a freeing process. After all I didn't like where it was so it didn't matter if it went from bad to worse!


From here I started with an antique glaze all over and added some colour and Inka Gold rubs, gelato's and more! :) I just kept adding layer upon layer!


Then I added  the flowers and embossed on them and added glitter and more layers of paint.





The colours look totally different the top one taken inside on the phone with a quick enhance app added and the photo below was taken in the afternoon sun.
I am happy with the texture on this one, the cracks on the vase are actually egg shells! :)
 

So in all it was a successful weekend to actually get a project finally finished! And was nice to step outside of what I have done before! :)

TFL xxx

Thursday, August 15, 2013

ScrapMedia Workshop 7th & 8th of September 2013

It is busy busy here again getting ready for the next ScrapMedia workshop, 
 I have had a couple of hiccups but hopefully that is all sorted now! I have spent 2 days sourcing one of the key products for my Sunday class, so many phone calls and google searches later I have found something a little left of field but should work the same. Phew! Been a long couple of days!
Every time I found what I was looking for it was always out of stock!
Sourcing enough stock for kits is one of the most challenging things you can do!
Now to wait for everything to arrive! (the next stressful step. LOL)

I can't wait for Mistra to come all the way over from Perth, those lucky enough do her class are in for a real treat! Mistra is a very talented artist in both scrapbooking and mixed media, be sure to check out her latest article in issue #22 of the Australian Scrapbook Ideas.

Only one week left for the early bird special for the workshop on the 7th & 8th,
You can see more detail and book in HERE

If you are considering traveling from another town for the workshop I have added a few accommodation options on the bookings page. If you need picking up and dropping off anywhere there should be enough local girls that should be able to help out there. I have added a couple of accommodation options that are not to far from the venue and are reasonable rates! :)

I hope all is going great in your world!
Looking forward to catch up to those coming to the workshop!


Friday, August 9, 2013

Life after 30 Days of Blog Lovin

I can't believe I achieved that goal and made it to the end.  I needed a break yesterday. It hasn't been a very productive week for me this week. So much to do so many things have to be done for the next workshop. So no time to waste that is for sure. We will have a special Guest Tutor all the way from Perth ~ Mistra Hoolahan coming over to teach a fabulous mixed media reverse canvas at the next workshop! You won't want to miss that one! Bookings will be open in the next day or so.


I have had a mini meltdown after posting my day 30 post. I literally did an audible Gulp! I think I have been feeling very exposed since. I was hoping for more of a freeing feeling but I have been feeling very vulnerable. Its done, its out time to move on! Just wish I could give my motivation a kick up the arse now, I have really been struggling this past week! Its like all those insecurities have risen to the surface again! Really over this shit, wish I have more control over these feelings. 
I can't believe it is Friday already, another week has flown by, I hope the next week is a better one!! Hoping to get a bit of creative time in tonight! Think I need it! 

Wishing you all a fabulous weekend!
xxx

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

30 Days Of Blog Lovin ~ Day 30 ~ Made it :)

Day 30!  I can't believe I have made it! 30 days of blogging every day (well night really) has been on average closer to midnight every night. But I did it!  I don't know how I feel about coming to the end of the 30 days, I haven't read back over the past 30 posts yet. Will be interesting to see if my writing has changed at all. I guess I feel a little less pressure to have everything just perfect.


Been a long day today and I am not feeling so crash hot tonight. We have had the property across the road burning off rubbish on a weekly basis for months. It is not just timber or natural products they are burning. Some days it smells like they are burning tyres. They have skip trucks dumping loads in there every week.  We have put in complaints to the council as I am concerned about what they are burning, the skip trucks advertise that they dispose asbestosis too. The property has a quarry license but there is nothing coming out of the place, just truck loads of rubbish going in.
Anyway what ever they burnt today was burning my throat when I went outside and the burning stink just fills the house. Then I got a headache from it! Glad Don is home tonight, he can deal with it tomorrow.


So in saying that I really don't feel much like talking about this next topic, but I know I can't put this off forever. I want to move forward and this will help to put all this behind me.

This is really tough for me to talk about still, but If my speaking out can help one person it is worth it. I had a pretty tough childhood and had to live away from home to go to school from the ages 6 to 8 and during that time I was molested. Its something that you would never wish on any child. The sad thing is that it is far more common than people realize. I know so many friends and people who have had it happen to them too!
I feared telling my parents the most, the fear was crippling, I didn't want them to have to endure the shame and guilt that I carried for so many years. It was a fear that took until the age of 42 to be able to tell them. It is so true when they say the truth will set you free. I feel like I have released this huge block that has held me back my whole life. I feel so much closer to my parents now too.


What ever circumstances you have survived in your life you are a survivor. I don't know if I would be as strong as I am now or as compassionate, caring or as forgiving if I have not had to endure this from a such a young age.
I have always struggled with how some people fight to be better people regardless of what has happened to them and how some people just keep repeating the patterning. Why do certain people fight back and why do some feel like they have nothing to fight back for. Why was I one of the lucky ones. I think it doesn't matter if it is domestic abuse, emotional abuse or abuse of any type that makes you feel less than or that you don't matter it is all the same.
I am telling you it doesn't matter what has happened in your life or what conditioning you have endured as a child, you still have control over your future. You are now and always will have the power over your self. You just have to choose that option that you are worthy and deserve happiness. You can do it, but don't get me wrong I know how much of a hold that guilt, shame and worthlessness can have over you. That is why it took me so long to be able to tell my parents. It was the fear itself of just telling them, it was never the right time, the words always got stuck in my throat. I know that is one of the reasons I struggle to speak up for myself till this day.

I don't know why this fear has had such a hold on me all these years, I have done a lot of work on overcoming what has happened to me with countless counseling in one form or another. And I think that it has been this and the help of my Morning Pages from The Artist Way. It has helped me to face my truth.

 

Really the Truth will set you free, no matter how painful in the process.  You know when some one says something or does something to you and you don't agree with it, but you go along with it to keep the peace. Take note of how that feels in your body at that exact moment. I bet it feels horrible. It makes you feel like crap when you swallow all those negative feelings and emotions just to please the other person. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you said how you really feel and what you really think. Really stopped to think what is the very worst thing that could happen?? They would be upset with you or won't talk to you?? Honestly the truth will set you all free, the best outcome would be that you are respected more for your honesty. 
Give it a try, take the cue from your body, if it doesn't agree with something said or done. Speak your truth, don't go into ego where it comes down to who is right or wrong, nothing good will come from that for anyone. Just take a minute to access those feelings and look at your truth of the situation. You can agree to disagree as long as you are at peace with your truth and not swallowing it to keep the peace. Speak your truth from a place of love and not from ego, the truth will fill your heart, ego will fuel the pain. The most freeing thing in the world is speaking your truth.



There will still be some people close to me who don't know about this but if they read this blog post I guess they will now. This is still tough for me to discuss, I hope in posting this it will help to really put it all behind me, no more secrets, no more guilt, no more shame. 

It is time I live my TRUTH!!!
I hope that you can find your truth that will set you free too!

 These art journal pages have also help me to process things along the way, puts them all in context when you know the story behind them.

Well I have finished the post and sitting here thinking do I really want to publish this? I know it will feel like a weight has been lifted when I do, but still the fear is holding onto me!
OK Here goes. Time to give fear the flick!!

Night all, I will be back blogging on a more regular and more inspirational basis! I have lots of creative ideas I want to share with you, so stay tuned!  

Thank you to Therese for your ongoing support over the last 30 days, many hugs to you hun!
And also to each and everyone of you for dropping by and leaving your beautiful comments, they have definitely helped to keep me going! xxx

Monday, August 5, 2013

30 Days Of Blog Lovin ~ Day 29

Day 29 - These past 29 days have not been easy. I haven't been able to focus much lately. Even though I took the weekend off I felt guilty in doing so. I know I really needed it and should have done it earlier in the week instead of trying to battle through. In looking back I haven't had a very productive week. I still feel like I am a day behind my own schedule and didn't get done today what I wanted to!

I really need to get organised, the mess around me is starting to do my head in. I desperately want to spring this place and declutter and start some renovating. But I feel like I really need to invest more time into the future planning of my business. Having the next workshop looming quickly is overwhelming me with everything that needs to be done.  So feeling tired and overwhelmed tonight.

I am hoping I can wake up in the morning and really kick some goals! I have lots to do!

Ok so I need a laugh about now and love this pic I found of sadie, she was scratching her claws on the railing, looks like she was sitting there covering her eyes and now she is off. I hope this brought a smile to your face too!

Day 30 tomorrow, I will try to do tomorrows post a little earlier tomorrow, I have a feeling it is going to be a big one! And to tell you the truth is scaring the crap out of me.

Leaving it there tonight, I need to get to bed!
Catch you all tomorrow!


Sunday, August 4, 2013

30 Days Of Blog Lovin ~ Day 28

Day 28 -  I have managed to nearly have the whole weekend off! The first in a long time!  It has been so nice to recharge the batteries. :) Meanwhile the house still looks like a bomb went off in it! :(


I have even managed to do some more drawing done today! I am really enjoying this process. I think I need to learn how to inject more personality and emotion into them now! 
They look so different on the screen than they do in real life!
This is how she looked early in her transformation. I love how each layer can totally change her look!

I think she is almost finished but not quite! 

This one is still in progress too! 

I have been spending a bit of time with Maddie this weekend, she is such a lovely dog!


She loves the water and had fun in the sprinkler today!


All she wants is for the cats to play with her, but for some reason they are not impressed! Lol 

Her highness just chilling this morning.

Ok signing off now! I have an hour to finish this cuppa then get to bed before midnight.

Catch you all again tomorrow!
Night xxx



Saturday, August 3, 2013

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #27

Day 27 - I have surprised myself with keeping up this 30 days of blogging, It has been a huge challenge.  Today is our 22nd Wedding Anniversary, I can't believe how fast the last 22 years have flown by. I am so blessed to have this man in my life. Has has been my constant support for over 2 decades. I always wanted what my Grandparents had and I know I have found it in Don!

3rd August 1991 - Mackay QLD
 
Over 2 decades and  2 children of many happy memories

Oh how the fashions change!
L - R Shane Shepherd, Carolyn Grant (nee Burns), Don Grant, Michelle Grant (nee Burns) Rick Kanns, Maria Smith (nee Prince), Susie Burns, Andrew Grant 


 And yes my sister did end up with Don's brother! That's keeping it in the family hey!

Anyway, you might be wondering what we did for our wedding anniversary today? Well sadly Don is out at work and Wil is away on a boys weekend away and I am home alone! 
I have missed not having Don here for our anniversary but have loved having a day to myself and a little bit of me time! It was just what the doctor ordered! I have had a lovely day doing very little today. I have mostly just been playing with Maddie and trying to teach her some new tricks.

I can't believe the 30 days is coming to an end. I am not sure if have really achieved what I set out to when I started this, I do know that I am worrying less about what I am writing about and just writing. I have let go of everything having to be just perfect. It is always the way hey, while you are waiting for perfection it just doesn't happen, because perfect is too bloody hard to attain! So I am still working on letting go of that perfection, I am getting there.... baby steps! Think it might be good to go back and read over the last 30 days myself now too!

Anyway, Night All xx



 



Friday, August 2, 2013

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #26

The last thing I feel like doing today is a blog post! When I feel like this I usually steer clear of everything online and retreat into myself!

What a crappy day! Been in a crappy mood all day, still feeling very tired and down today!
Struggling to find any motivation!

The reality of no longer being on the dusty team has set in and i am feelung sad, I really did put so much of my heart and soul into dusty, deciding to step down was a very tough decision for me. I guess anything you invest so much of yourself in is hard to just walk away from.

I think my exhaustion from the past couple of months has caught up with me too! 

Anyway I gave up trying to achieve much today, nothing was going to plan!

So I have retreated to the lounge with my art journal some pencils and have been getting lost in some drawing, think I will try for an early night tonight though! 
Wil has gone to Airlie Beach for the night so I have the house to myself! Bliss x


    I have been playing with this girl tonight! Anyway I hope you all have a lovely weekend! And I hope I wake up in a better mood tomorrow!

Night all, xxx

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #25

Day 25 - Bugger another late one, although I have taken it a bit easier today and even sat in the lounge tonight. Which is always dangerous, As soon as I sit down I practically fall asleep.
I had the gorgeous Wendy over today who helped me do a stock take this morning! Thank you Hun. Another job ticked off the list. I am so blessed to have so many beautiful friends in my life, I really can't believe how lucky I am to know so many amazing people both here and online! Friendships really do feed the soul don't they. Each and everyone of them are here to teach us something.

Mum & Dad's Wedding -  1st August 1970
Anyway, I have spent a bit of time with Maddie today after doing the stocktake with Wendy and then went into town for a cuppa with Don before dropping off for the bus for work. We haven't had much time together lately, looking forward to his next shift of to plan something! It would have been my Grandparents 68th Wedding Anniversary today and it is my Parents 43rd Wedding Anniversary and will be Don and My 22nd on the 3rd. We would have been married on the 1st too if it had fallen on a weekend earlier, but we didn't want to wait another 3 years for it so we settled for the 3rd. We are 4th or 5th generation on my grandad's side that was married in the first week of August. My Grandad's parents we married on the 5th. I love traditions like that, I am a huge sentimental fool! LOL


My Grandparents - 1st August 1945

My Great Grandparents Wedding - 5th August 1908
I will do a post on my wedding with some wedding photos on Sunday. I should do a wedding layout of mine, I don't think I have done one of our wedding. Don't you just love the old fashioned outfits.
Something just makes me feel so connected to this sort of family history.

OK I am off to bed now, since my arse has already turned into a pumpkin!  I have been ordered by hubby to take a little bit of time off this weekend. So I think I will try and get some creative play time in somewhere this weekend! Definitely will be some couch time tomorrow night with some drawing with So You Think You Can Dance on the TV! Looking forward to a proper night off! :)

Night all! Sweet Dreams! :)

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