Life after 30 Days of Blog Lovin

I can't believe I achieved that goal and made it to the end.  I needed a break yesterday. It hasn't been a very productive week for me this week. So much to do so many things have to be done for the next workshop. So no time to waste that is for sure. We will have a special Guest Tutor all the way from Perth ~ Mistra Hoolahan coming over to teach a fabulous mixed media reverse canvas at the next workshop! You won't want to miss that one! Bookings will be open in the next day or so.

I have had a mini meltdown after posting my day 30 post. I literally did an audible Gulp! I think I have been feeling very exposed since. I was hoping for more of a freeing feeling but I have been feeling very vulnerable. Its done, its out time to move on! Just wish I could give my motivation a kick up the arse now, I have really been struggling this past week! Its like all those insecurities have risen to the surface again! Really over this shit, wish I have more control over these feelings. 
I can't believe it is Friday already, another week has flown by, I hope the next week is a better one!! Hoping to get a bit of creative time in tonight! Think I need it! 

Wishing you all a fabulous weekend!
xxx

30 Days Of Blog Lovin ~ Day 30 ~ Made it :)

Day 30!  I can't believe I have made it! 30 days of blogging every day (well night really) has been on average closer to midnight every night. But I did it!  I don't know how I feel about coming to the end of the 30 days, I haven't read back over the past 30 posts yet. Will be interesting to see if my writing has changed at all. I guess I feel a little less pressure to have everything just perfect.

Been a long day today and I am not feeling so crash hot tonight. We have had the property across the road burning off rubbish on a weekly basis for months. It is not just timber or natural products they are burning. Some days it smells like they are burning tyres. They have skip trucks dumping loads in there every week.  We have put in complaints to the council as I am concerned about what they are burning, the skip trucks advertise that they dispose asbestosis too. The property has a quarry license but there is nothing coming out of the place, just truck loads of rubbish going in.
Anyway what ever they burnt today was burning my throat when I went outside and the burning stink just fills the house. Then I got a headache from it! Glad Don is home tonight, he can deal with it tomorrow.

So in saying that I really don't feel much like talking about this next topic, but I know I can't put this off forever. I want to move forward and this will help to put all this behind me.

This is really tough for me to talk about still, but If my speaking out can help one person it is worth it. I had a pretty tough childhood and had to live away from home to go to school from the ages 6 to 8 and during that time I was molested. Its something that you would never wish on any child. The sad thing is that it is far more common than people realize. I know so many friends and people who have had it happen to them too!
I feared telling my parents the most, the fear was crippling, I didn't want them to have to endure the shame and guilt that I carried for so many years. It was a fear that took until the age of 42 to be able to tell them. It is so true when they say the truth will set you free. I feel like I have released this huge block that has held me back my whole life. I feel so much closer to my parents now too.

What ever circumstances you have survived in your life you are a survivor. I don't know if I would be as strong as I am now or as compassionate, caring or as forgiving if I have not had to endure this from a such a young age.
I have always struggled with how some people fight to be better people regardless of what has happened to them and how some people just keep repeating the patterning. Why do certain people fight back and why do some feel like they have nothing to fight back for. Why was I one of the lucky ones. I think it doesn't matter if it is domestic abuse, emotional abuse or abuse of any type that makes you feel less than or that you don't matter it is all the same.
I am telling you it doesn't matter what has happened in your life or what conditioning you have endured as a child, you still have control over your future. You are now and always will have the power over your self. You just have to choose that option that you are worthy and deserve happiness. You can do it, but don't get me wrong I know how much of a hold that guilt, shame and worthlessness can have over you. That is why it took me so long to be able to tell my parents. It was the fear itself of just telling them, it was never the right time, the words always got stuck in my throat. I know that is one of the reasons I struggle to speak up for myself till this day.

I don't know why this fear has had such a hold on me all these years, I have done a lot of work on overcoming what has happened to me with countless counseling in one form or another. And I think that it has been this and the help of my Morning Pages from The Artist Way. It has helped me to face my truth.

 

Really the Truth will set you free, no matter how painful in the process.  You know when some one says something or does something to you and you don't agree with it, but you go along with it to keep the peace. Take note of how that feels in your body at that exact moment. I bet it feels horrible. It makes you feel like crap when you swallow all those negative feelings and emotions just to please the other person. Have you ever wondered what would happen if you said how you really feel and what you really think. Really stopped to think what is the very worst thing that could happen?? They would be upset with you or won't talk to you?? Honestly the truth will set you all free, the best outcome would be that you are respected more for your honesty. 
Give it a try, take the cue from your body, if it doesn't agree with something said or done. Speak your truth, don't go into ego where it comes down to who is right or wrong, nothing good will come from that for anyone. Just take a minute to access those feelings and look at your truth of the situation. You can agree to disagree as long as you are at peace with your truth and not swallowing it to keep the peace. Speak your truth from a place of love and not from ego, the truth will fill your heart, ego will fuel the pain. The most freeing thing in the world is speaking your truth.

There will still be some people close to me who don't know about this but if they read this blog post I guess they will now. This is still tough for me to discuss, I hope in posting this it will help to really put it all behind me, no more secrets, no more guilt, no more shame. 

It is time I live my TRUTH!!!
I hope that you can find your truth that will set you free too!

 These art journal pages have also help me to process things along the way, puts them all in context when you know the story behind them.

Well I have finished the post and sitting here thinking do I really want to publish this? I know it will feel like a weight has been lifted when I do, but still the fear is holding onto me!
OK Here goes. Time to give fear the flick!!

Night all, I will be back blogging on a more regular and more inspirational basis! I have lots of creative ideas I want to share with you, so stay tuned!  

Thank you to Therese for your ongoing support over the last 30 days, many hugs to you hun!
And also to each and everyone of you for dropping by and leaving your beautiful comments, they have definitely helped to keep me going! xxx

30 Days Of Blog Lovin ~ Day 29

Day 29 - These past 29 days have not been easy. I haven't been able to focus much lately. Even though I took the weekend off I felt guilty in doing so. I know I really needed it and should have done it earlier in the week instead of trying to battle through. In looking back I haven't had a very productive week. I still feel like I am a day behind my own schedule and didn't get done today what I wanted to!

I really need to get organised, the mess around me is starting to do my head in. I desperately want to spring this place and declutter and start some renovating. But I feel like I really need to invest more time into the future planning of my business. Having the next workshop looming quickly is overwhelming me with everything that needs to be done.  So feeling tired and overwhelmed tonight.

I am hoping I can wake up in the morning and really kick some goals! I have lots to do!

Ok so I need a laugh about now and love this pic I found of sadie, she was scratching her claws on the railing, looks like she was sitting there covering her eyes and now she is off. I hope this brought a smile to your face too!

Day 30 tomorrow, I will try to do tomorrows post a little earlier tomorrow, I have a feeling it is going to be a big one! And to tell you the truth is scaring the crap out of me.

Leaving it there tonight, I need to get to bed!
Catch you all tomorrow!

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #27

Day 27 - I have surprised myself with keeping up this 30 days of blogging, It has been a huge challenge.  Today is our 22nd Wedding Anniversary, I can't believe how fast the last 22 years have flown by. I am so blessed to have this man in my life. Has has been my constant support for over 2 decades. I always wanted what my Grandparents had and I know I have found it in Don!

3rd August 1991 - Mackay QLD

 

Over 2 decades and  2 children of many happy memories

Oh how the fashions change!
L - R Shane Shepherd, Carolyn Grant (nee Burns), Don Grant, Michelle Grant (nee Burns) Rick Kanns, Maria Smith (nee Prince), Susie Burns, Andrew Grant 

 And yes my sister did end up with Don's brother! That's keeping it in the family hey!

Anyway, you might be wondering what we did for our wedding anniversary today? Well sadly Don is out at work and Wil is away on a boys weekend away and I am home alone! 

I have missed not having Don here for our anniversary but have loved having a day to myself and a little bit of me time! It was just what the doctor ordered! I have had a lovely day doing very little today. I have mostly just been playing with Maddie and trying to teach her some new tricks.

I can't believe the 30 days is coming to an end. I am not sure if have really achieved what I set out to when I started this, I do know that I am worrying less about what I am writing about and just writing. I have let go of everything having to be just perfect. It is always the way hey, while you are waiting for perfection it just doesn't happen, because perfect is too bloody hard to attain! So I am still working on letting go of that perfection, I am getting there.... baby steps! Think it might be good to go back and read over the last 30 days myself now too!

Anyway, Night All xx

 

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #26

The last thing I feel like doing today is a blog post! When I feel like this I usually steer clear of everything online and retreat into myself!

What a crappy day! Been in a crappy mood all day, still feeling very tired and down today!

Struggling to find any motivation!

The reality of no longer being on the dusty team has set in and i am feelung sad, I really did put so much of my heart and soul into dusty, deciding to step down was a very tough decision for me. I guess anything you invest so much of yourself in is hard to just walk away from.

I think my exhaustion from the past couple of months has caught up with me too! 

Anyway I gave up trying to achieve much today, nothing was going to plan!

So I have retreated to the lounge with my art journal some pencils and have been getting lost in some drawing, think I will try for an early night tonight though! 

Wil has gone to Airlie Beach for the night so I have the house to myself! Bliss x

    I have been playing with this girl tonight! Anyway I hope you all have a lovely weekend! And I hope I wake up in a better mood tomorrow!

Night all, xxx

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #25

Day 25 - Bugger another late one, although I have taken it a bit easier today and even sat in the lounge tonight. Which is always dangerous, As soon as I sit down I practically fall asleep.
I had the gorgeous Wendy over today who helped me do a stock take this morning! Thank you Hun. Another job ticked off the list. I am so blessed to have so many beautiful friends in my life, I really can't believe how lucky I am to know so many amazing people both here and online! Friendships really do feed the soul don't they. Each and everyone of them are here to teach us something.

Mum & Dad's Wedding -  1st August 1970

Anyway, I have spent a bit of time with Maddie today after doing the stocktake with Wendy and then went into town for a cuppa with Don before dropping off for the bus for work. We haven't had much time together lately, looking forward to his next shift of to plan something! It would have been my Grandparents 68th Wedding Anniversary today and it is my Parents 43rd Wedding Anniversary and will be Don and My 22nd on the 3rd. We would have been married on the 1st too if it had fallen on a weekend earlier, but we didn't want to wait another 3 years for it so we settled for the 3rd. We are 4th or 5th generation on my grandad's side that was married in the first week of August. My Grandad's parents we married on the 5th. I love traditions like that, I am a huge sentimental fool! LOL

My Grandparents - 1st August 1945

My Great Grandparents Wedding - 5th August 1908

I will do a post on my wedding with some wedding photos on Sunday. I should do a wedding layout of mine, I don't think I have done one of our wedding. Don't you just love the old fashioned outfits.
Something just makes me feel so connected to this sort of family history.

OK I am off to bed now, since my arse has already turned into a pumpkin!  I have been ordered by hubby to take a little bit of time off this weekend. So I think I will try and get some creative play time in somewhere this weekend! Definitely will be some couch time tomorrow night with some drawing with So You Think You Can Dance on the TV! Looking forward to a proper night off! :)

Night all! Sweet Dreams! :)

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #24

Day 24, Oh Boy, how is it that time just vanishes before our eyes. I still feel jet lagged from the weekend. Think I need some creative play time!  I have to say a huge thank you to Deb for helping me go through the kit room today and getting everything back in order. So that is one huge job ticked off my list this week, now to go through all the stock and get it all packed away again too. Other than that nothing exciting happened today.

Still have a heap of photos to go through, just wanted to share this group photo at the end of the weekend, What a fabulous bunch of ladies who really did make the weekend something special.
Thank you to each and every one of you xxx

Ok I working the courage up for a couple of posts that will be pretty deep. Not sure if I am quite ready for it, but I know it won't just help me but others too. Wish me luck on that one!

Crap nearly midnight again already, I was planning of trying for an early night tonight. Umm what day is it today? Oh that's right Wednesday well not for much longer anyway.

What has everyone been up too? What are your goals you are working towards this week??
This week is clean up and organise week (and try and fit a little R&R in) and next week will be business week. Lots of goals to be working towards!

Night, Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow!

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #23

Day 23, can you believe it? I can't believe that I am still keeping up even with the week I have just had. I am still feeling pretty tired tonight and instead of actually taking a break today I have been battling through it to get the accounts out from the weekend! All done now So I will sleep well again tonight. I really do need to take a day off but with unpacking still to do I can't see that happening tomorrow. Man I have been dragging my feet!

It has been an emotional day for me today, the announcement was made that I am stepping down from Dusty Attic Admin & DT. Dusty has been a huge part of my journey these past few years and it is well and truly in my blood. I have been struggling to keep up with everything and getting my business off the ground. So I need to let go of some outside commitments so I can focus on some new projects. It was with a heavy heart that I had to step down from Dusty and was not a decision I took lightly, I have been with Dusty and Jen since the start, it really is like another family for me.


I need to get everything cleaned up and sorted out so I can seriously start planning my future, Lots of ideas and not enough time at the moment. Not enough energy more importantly. I need to take a little time for me after the hectic lead up and weekend last weekend to catch my breath.
I still have to go through the photos from the weekend too, Hopefully tomorrow.

Its already past midnight, I think I need to get to bed, I was actually in bed by 11.30pm last night so it was an early night for me.

I think I need to get lost in a little creative time too! I need to re evaluate my list tomorrow and pencil me in! LOL And Hubby too!  I need to get back into my Morning pages again, I can definitely tell when I haven't done them in awhile, I get so scatter brain and find it harder to concentrate! I have been forgoing the morning pages to take Maddie for a walk in the mornings. She is growing very quickly!

OK Time for bed, I am yawing now! Sleeps Time!

Night ALL xxxx

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #22

Day 22!!  It has been a day of recovery mode today, I am still pretty weary tonight! I got some of the stuff packed away, still have more to do tomorrow. The lovely Sharon Dalton come out for a cuppa this morning, it was nice to sit back and relax for 5. So in all it has been a pretty quiet day today. It will be back to cleaning out and putting away tomorrow!
Don't you hate the come down after a big event and after the lead up of all the work put into it! It was a fabulous weekend, I am so glad everyone had a great time :) Now to start getting ready for the next one on the 7th & 8th of September. Lots of Surprises coming for that one too, and a very special guest will be coming! Can't wait! Hopefully the next couple of months won't be as full on as the last couple. I think I need to take a me day soon though and recharge the batteries to go again! 

This was the Resin Class I taught on the weekend! It was definitely a hit!!

 

Very wise words to live by here! Take another shot! Just go for it! Trust your gut and grow, I think I will be repeating these words over the next month!!! Time I let go of the self doubt, reflecting on what I have just achieved on the weekend, and I still find it hard to give myself a pat on the back.
The feed back so far has been all positive so I need really take that all in!

This was the reverse canvas I taught. These classes will be available online soon! :)

OK gorgeous people, my brain might have a little bit more time for reflecting for a couple of weeks now, I won't be consumed with the workshop from daylight to dark, but I am hoping to concentrate on my business coaching for the next few weeks and really get some big dreams happening!!
Wish me luck! x

Night all, Might actually be in bed before midnight tonight, shock horror!! Most likely be up around 4am then! LOL but then again maybe not I have built up a fair bit of sleep debt lately!

Night x

30 days of blog lovin - Day #21

Day 21, Home tonight after a huge day for the second day of my ScrapMedia workshop! I am in a slightly comatose state tonight! It was another fabulous day!

I got home around 7pm after packing everything up! Then I had to unpack everything out of the car, I had it half done before Wil come out to help me!

My legs, feet and back are killing me! Think I will allow myself to have a very quiet day tomorrow! I feel like I could sleep for a week! Tired would be an understatement lol! 

Anyway, all that stuff from the car has just made it to the dining room and table, I figure it will still be there in the morning! 

Time for another spring clean before it all goes back away tomorrow, that is if I can surface from bed! 

You think I would find a more comfy spot to get comatose in hey! Trying to find the energy for a shower and bed!  I don't think I left anything of me on the table this weekend, I am spent!

Night all xxx

30 Days of blog lovin - Day #20

Day 20,What a Day it has been! Everything has gone smoothly and I think everyone is having a great time! Lots of Laughs and Creative fun! I am ready for bed now though, I think I will be asleep before my head hits the pillow!

I posted my blog post last night from bed on my phone for the first time and hit publish then crashed and I was feeling pretty pleased that I still got it done last night, only to discover when we got to the workshop this morning after the girls all said "What happened to your blog post last night????  I said I did it, but when I checked my phone it hadn't gone through, so I hope that still counts, I did do it the night before well technically 90% of these blog posts have been done at midnight! LOL So I am right on cue tonight!!

Ok, I am fading fast now, I uploaded a couple of pics of the girls in action today on my Facebook page.

Another big day tomorrow then I can collapse in a heap! :O

Night xxx

30 Days of blog lovin - Day #19

Day 19?? Is it I hope so lol, this post comes from me to you while I am in bed and posting on my phone!

It has been another massive day today, the hall is all set up and ready to go and I think everything is now organized! Phew! And you know what! To bad if its not now! Lol

My fabulous helpers setting up tonight, Donna, Tracey & Rosie! Thanks Girls! Couldn't have done it without you! And thank you to Rosie and Deb for helping to pack kits and also to Sharon and Tracey for all your help today too!

This place will be all abuzzz tomorrow! Can't wait! I need at least 6 hours tonight after not getting to bed until after 3am last night!

Ok short and sweet again! I am a little on the buggered side tonight! 

Night All!!!

Me xxxx

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #18

Day 18, Boy what a day, Big day and its not over by a long shot. The stock I was waiting for arrived today so I am finishing this kit tonight. Just had the fabulous Deb here helping to pack more kits, I would be lost without her! Soooooo apart from finishing this kit and doing instructions for another one I think I might just be nearly organized by tomorrow!!!

In the one day today I have got my hair done (grey's begone!!! LOL Will get a pic when I have 5 min LOL!) , Had Christine here doing my books and we got the book work and BAS done and got more kits packed, vouchers done sorted through more stock, then finished packing more kits with Deb tonight! So has been another massive day tonight. I am picking Tracey up off the plane in the morning so I want to get as much done tonight as I can so I can take the foot of the pedal a bit tomorrow before we have to set up tomorrow night!! So forgive me once again but this is going to be very short and sweet tonight, I need to finish videoing this kit!

Night Beautiful Peeps! I hope the day has been kind to you? What are your plans for the weekend??

Take care!
Hugs xxx

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #17

Day 17: Howdy, I hope July is being kind to you and you are kicking some goals. As busy as I have been this week my head has not stopped thinking. Lots of future planning has been happening too! As well as the future workshop. I really will need to take some time out for me next week or I think I will collapse in a heap. And I only have myself to blame, it is all work I have put on myself and being a perfectionist I always seem to be creating more work for myself. I nearly forgot my blog post tonight, I am trying to get another kit created and lost all time!

This message is so true, I crawled into bed around 2am last night and just as my head hit the pillow these crazy thoughts started running through my head, more ideas!! But you know what I was so tired I couldn't even roll over and grab my pen and notebook and write them all down, then you guessed it and I went ARRRRRGH!! What was that bloody idea again?? I knew I should have written it down! Totally kicking myself then!! So I started on my morning pages and thank god for them, it came to me! It was about survey questions about finding my target market and more ideas on resources for teachers. So I managed to get them all down after all, (Thank you Morning Pages xxx)

 I actually woke up early and more surprisingly woke up with some energy too! Thank Goodness although I think I am just running on adrenaline at the moment!

 Love these Quotes!! So True!!

Anyway, I shall call it a night and finish this layout!
Night All xxx

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #16

Day 16: I think I was mad to do this 30 day blog loving with a Workshop coming up. Been at it all day again today and have another kit packed tonight thanks to the help of Deb! Everything is coming along nicely, just waiting on a couple of things to finish off the last kit, but it is still crazy hectic. I really don't have too much else going on in my head at the moment, It is all too consumed with the workshop from when I get up to when I collapse at night.

We are going to have so much fun playing with the resin this weekend. I already have plans for another class because I couldn't fit it all in to this one!

 Since I am  feeling pretty brain dead tonight I thought I would share a funny with you. My dear son (18) asked me the other week if I wanted the watermelon in the fridge, I said no you can eat it.
He was waiting for one of us to eat it, and couldn't wait any longer and he said "I already have" LOL The he showed me the back of it! LOL

 Totally cracked me up, he had already scooped out the back waiting to catch someone out!  It's a bugger when a prank doesn't go to plan. Still made me laugh when he showed me! LOL

Ok, back to work, Still have a bit to do tonight and feeling pretty tired now! I think I will collapse in a heap next week! :)

Night, Sorry I am boring as bat shit at the moment, these workshops totally consume me with making everything just right for everyone!

Hugs

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #15

Day 15, Hiya! I hope everyone has had a productive Monday. I don't think I have stopped today. Slowly getting everything in order for the workshop this weekend, Got a few more things ticked off my list and confirmed today. Still feeling like I need to catch up on some sleep. Had a day of feeling very much overwhelmed today.

Sorry I haven't really got time to stop tonight for a decent post, but lets just say that I have been giving my future some serious consideration amongst all the calls and organizing today. The workshop has consumed my whole day today and I am just finishing up instructions before I head to bed. Fast running out of days and so much to do! 

I  don't know if it is the stress of getting everything done and still waiting on orders or what it is but I have been feeling very overwhelmed today. I have had to keep ploughing through with everything that needs doing, I think I nearly ticked everything off my list today so that is a plus!

It will be all worth it in the end, I think the fact that I am still struggling with feeling tired today hasn't been helping. Tomorrow is a new day hopefully I will feel like I am back on track again tomorrow!

Back to doing instructions, I will catch you all tomorrow! Thank you so much for your comments, they really do mean the world to me!!

Night x
Hugs xx

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #14

Day 14, I am impressed that I am still going, almost half way! This next week is going to be crazy. It doesn't seem to matter how organized you are when a deadline is looming the job list to be done seems to grow by the minute! 

I want to talk about the hardest job in the world tonight, and it is a job that you never get time off with or holidays and you are on call 24/7 for the rest of your life, And that is being a parent and in particular a mother.

We all just want our kids to be happy and be well balanced. We want to give them everything that we didn't have growing up, but in doing that are we protecting them from life too much. Are we making them less resilient. I worry all the time if I have done enough for my kids, have I instilled enough in my kids for them to believe they can be anything they want to be? I am learning that no matter how talented they might be and how much I have tried to teach them to reach for the stars and dream big and to believe in themselves, I feel like I have failed them. I can see the lack of confidence in them that has been in me my whole life. I now realize that it doesn't matter how much I tell them to be confident and to achieve their dreams unless I show them that I can do it how can they do what I preach and not practice myself. I think this is really the driving force behind me wanting my business to be a success and achieve my dreams and that is to show my kids that they can do it too!

I am extremely proud of both my kids and think that they are both beautiful young adults. We always want to think the best of our kids and will defend them till our dying breath. But I have moments were I worry that they are not on their own paths to success and don't have the drive and ambition to go after their dreams. I know they will get there one day.  I just hope it doesn't take them 40 years to find their passions and successes and work out what makes them happy. I worry that I didn't push them enough through their schooling. I constantly have to stop myself comparing them and myself with others. 

I worry that Leonii (now 20) is working in a job that is not really her future, although she is enjoying it most of the time, it is not a job that will nurture her creative soul. She is ready to start looking at doing more creative studies now and I really hope that she can work towards her passions sooner rather than later. I know that her confidence is holding her back, how can I expect her to believe in herself when I couldn't show her how to do that myself. I feel like she is settling rather than going after what she really wants. We have a great relationship and I feel so blessed that we have always been able to talk about anything. She truly is the young lady that I always wished I was growing up. Even though she portrays external confidence I can see through that and see the old me and it just breaks my heart.

Wil (18) on the other hand I feel like I have let down as I don't feel like communication has come as easily with him. Growing up in a family of 3 girls and having a daughter first I have found it harder to really communicate with him. I think I just thought that boys didn't have confidence issues like girls. He is an amazing and loving young man and I am also very proud of him. Even though I have been able to talk about anything with him, I can't really explain it, it is just a communication gap that I feel like I am failing him with. He has been spending more and more time playing online games and I can see that it is becoming a problem with him spending so much time in his room and less and less socializing. Although he says that he is socializing online with lots of people. He goes to the gym maybe once a week but outside of work he doesn't spend too much time out of his room. He will do jobs for me, after I ask him a few times but only if he is asked. He is going through the interview process for joining the army, and as much as I don't want him to do that I think it will be the best thing for him.  (Isn't it sad that I had trouble finding a recent layout of him on his own. It is hard to get him in front of the camera, Think I need to do something about that.)

I think the biggest thing that is hitting home to me, is that I spend way too much time working in the office and on the computer and trying to learn how to use this social media marketing tool and that one, and I have realized that I am doing the same thing working in here day after day night after night. I do talk with him everyday, but not near enough and not nearly enough quality conversations. Breaks my heart that in the pursuit of achieving my dreams to show my kids to believe in themselves and how to be confident that I have just taught them to shut themselves off from the physical world and that striving for your dreams is a struggle. 
I can see now that it doesn't matter if it is gaming or working that we definitely need more balance in our lives and more real life connections.

I am always turning down offers to catch up with friends for drinks or coffee because I have been so busy trying to achieve my dreams, and feel like I don't have the time to take time out on my self imposed schedule. So that being said, This week I went to friends to watch the State of Origin on Wed night and I caught up with the neighbours last night for a couple of drinks and friends this afternoon for drinks and a BBQ. I know I need to find more balance and to get out more. And I know that I need to work smarter to make these things happen. I know that I need to re-valuate my priorities.

I know half of this probably doesn't make sense, trying to articulate these thoughts and feelings is not easy for me. This is one of those raw topics that I constantly question if I have done enough for my kids. I know I haven't let them down completely, I know that they know how much I love them, well at least I hope they do, and I am extremely proud that they are considerate and loving young adults they are becoming, I just hope they can live their dreams and find true happiness! I know that is the true definition of success now!   

I managed to get a little bit of sleep in this morning, although I could hear Don checking on me every half hour or so to see if I was stirring LOL. Anyway I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all. I struggled all day with feeling super tired. I kept trying to fight it and attempt to do some work, but my body had well and truly shut down, so I looked on Pinterest for some inspiration on renovating our house and yard. Found some great ideas for outdoor living HERE :)
Then I gave in to the tiredness and went and had a sleep then we went to friends for the afternoon. So in all I think it was the break I well and truly needed today.

Lots to do tomorrow, only 5 days until my ScrapMedia Workshop so it is going to be madness here for the next week! :)
Night All, I should get to bed so I at least feel a bit more refreshed tomorrow!

30 Days of Blog Lovin ~ Day #13

Day 13, Seriously where is the time going?? The days are just going past in a blur! Another very busy day today. An extra week this week wouldn't go astray! Anyone got a spare one I can borrow??
The morning started out with getting side tracked with these gorgeous creatures this morning. Maddie will have been with us for one week tomorrow, it is hard to believe it feels like she has been here a lot longer. She has filled out so much in less than a week. I videoed her helping get the chooks in tonight, she is definitely a quick learner. I will have to upload the video on facebook or here tomorrow.

These two rabbits where up in the tree this morning, they had fun playing up there and just hanging around.

Fatso is our uncoordinated cat, so I was impressed she was up this high and didn't fall out.

I love how they both found forks in the tree to park their fat arses! LOL

Sadie is our stealth cat, she can usually get up anywhere and in a very dainty fashion.

"Does this tree make my bum look big?? LOL"

So after the animal antics this morning it was time to get to work. Was a big day today. Poor Christine had a mountain of bookwork to enter, and Rosie come over and helped to pack some kits. Then Deb popped over this afternoon to help finish the packing. The challenge pack is all finished one kit down and 2 to go!

Chairs make great benches for packing kits, there was a kit on every spare bit of space.
Oh And yes that is a bag on Deb's head, I send them looney around here! ROFL!!!!

Thank you so much to Christine, Rosie & Deb for your help today, really does help me so much. I usually struggle to ask for help and still do. Not sure if it is out of pride or what, a major part of it is not wanting to interrupt people as I know how busy everyone's lives get.
   But the laughs and friendship hardly make it feel like you are working! It is so worth it. Many hands sure do make like work! :)

OK I am going to attempt to get to bed before midnight tonight only 30 min to go and I think I just might turn into a pumpkin tonight I am so tired! Feels like my eyes are hanging out of my head tonight!

Night all! More sorting and kit packing on the agenda tomorrow!